none more black

"Everyday Balloons"

It's more than fists and phrases.
It goes beyond life's little changes.
It's not enough.
Banks, bombs, coffee shops & everything I own.
I can't even think a second
without my thoughts coming down to wreck it.
(Know what I'm saying?)
Spirits been gone for months.
When is it coming home?
These hang-ups alone are cutting me down,
hurting my ears,
chomp at the bit & bite at the masses.
Everyday I miss it.
I practice petty fucking myths to fix it
Just for a while.
Shelve it with the rest of me.
Next to the faith I've loaned.
I sore my throat to get it.
I tune it in & turn it up to forget it.
That's how it happens.
Stage fright therapy is the only help I own.
These hang-ups alone are cutting me down,
hurting my ears,
chomp at the bit & bite at the masses.
Forgot whose in control.
I'm killing what kills.
Healing what hurts.
Smile at the world.
Destroying these feelings.

"Dinner's For Suckers"

Lets go
Drop the medicine
I don't feel normal
I never did
Room start spinning
Make boredom useful and back again
Come home too fucked to know what side's up
Side's down
My senses stayed for another round
Don't feel the set up
Don't feel the sting
Only feel fatgue where the body used to break
Don't feel the set up
Don't feel the sting, yeah
And I want--
Wake up hardly remembering
Softly knowing that I was king
Short lived
Could be imagining that things were simple
But easily wake up not knowing what's up or down
Face flush
Amnesia sucks
Just one more time
Don't feel the set up
Don't feel the sting
Only feel fatigue where the body used to break
Don't feel the set up
Don't feel the sting, yeah
And I want--
Don't feel the set up
Don't feel the sting
Only feel fatigue where the body used to break
Don't feel the set up
Don't feel the sting, yeah
And I want more

"The Ratio Of People To Cake"

Too much.
Way too much to bleed.
The red light's gone and ruined everything...
the broadcast and the last 30:00:00 of my
world. Poison dropped in bloodline.
The walk home might be dizzy for the time being,
but being's only better when it's on.
Wish someone would lend an ear.
Tell me something.
Tell me not to care.
(the problem is) I'm not gonna let it go 'cause
someone says to "let it go."
What a fine way to spend my everydays.
All the time.
Ear pop follows decline.
Failure is
thematic all the time.
It's cornered and pinned against the ceiling every night.
Forcing me to sleep on my side.
It hurts,
and it's just the beginning.

"Never Heard Of Courduroy"

I've taken tongue to pen & ink to blood stream...
the venemous kind.
I've spilled my guts on your favorite blue jeans,
you didn't mind.
It's not the way I want it.
It's just the way I see it.
I wish I didn't need it.
On the inside, the venom's not kind.
I wish I was a little more rock and less complicated.
I wish I was a little more rock.
This time it's not right.
The antedote.
It's all in the pre-screen and losing my mind.
I'll kill the chord instead of the rhyme scheme,
and everything's fine.
It's not the way I want it.
It's just the way I see it.
I wish I didn't feel it.
I wish I didn't need it.
On the inside, the venom feels fine.

"Banned From Teen Arts"

The perfect mix of music and traffic.
I'm so stoked about breathable oxygen.
"so long" is thirty miles long.
City life is
so not attractive,
when paranoia's gotten the best of me.
I look long and hard.
I'm always wrong.
Eight years and five
months to blame for who I am today.
Think I was bored in New Jersey.
Old friends.
Still talk to some.
I'll crawl back under
the rock I came from.
Yea, I was born in new Jersey and it will die in me.
Spent some time away from my feelings. While
everything around me was crushing me for long.
Denying being wrong.
I broke down.
Built up.
Broke down.
I broke down.
Built up broke down twice.
That's right.
I gotta song along.

"Risk Management"

"Who said, anybody likes you?
You'll find out."
Opened minded with an open mouth.
My throat got tired when the dirt went
"Who said, anybody likes you? You'll find out."
I know you think I don't give a rats ass,
but taking mud off my name
has taken longer than I've percieved it.
"Who said, anybody likes you?
You'll find out."
Sugar coated was the tainted pill.
Easy to swallow but it fucked my will.
"Who said, anybody likes you? You'll find out."

"Drop The Pop"

The news hit me like a ton.
I didn't know what I was waiting for.
That day came like a rolling thunder and we were waiting for the sun.
"Hey man I haven't seen you in a while."
Get the hell out of this circumstance.
Can't fight this kind of feeling that we're dealing with.
I feel helpless and useless.
It's clear now.
This day's decided.
I feel like I'm defeated.
It's clear now this heart's divided.
I feel like I'm defeated.
Shivers shake the ground we're on.
Cold feet dance in nervousness.
Speechless with my hands in my pockets.
Skin cracks as we march in.
Sit down and let the feeling take control.
Can't hide it with a smile.
I'm pretty sure I don't believe in god,
but I can pretend for a little while.

Bizzaro Me"

Stick to all the unstuck obligations you've pasted on me.
The awkwardness you construct in conversations,
it's getting to me.
Trapped like 80's notions.
Confirming conformation.
Why fear reactivation.
Better start running cause we're out of time.
The confidence,
it destructs,
when pushing buttons...on me theres many.
You shouled have looked before you touched.
You never do.
Don't push me over.
I'm not ready to taste the ground.
Why say it's over,
when we don't have to settle down?
Who can run in motions and not get tired of their surroundings.
I bet you think it's easy.
More power to you.

"Nods To Nothing"

Make the killing.
Wipe the blade
as it exists
out my brain.
Middle name.
Save it.
So C'mon C'mon!
Safety first,
ego last.
Can't compete with
half a chance.
Middle name.
C'mon C'mon!
I must be someone,
cause I think that everyone thinks I'm a bastard
I think i'll stay home
and have an episode.
Why go,
When i'm safe at home?
One step closer
to the door.
With back to wall, I
slide to floor.
All the socials I ignore.
So c'mon c'mon!
Safety first and
ego last.
Can't compete with every chance.
Middle name.
C'mon C'mon!
I must be someone,
because everyone thinks I'm a bastard.
I think I'll stay home
and have an episode.
Why go,
When I'm safe at home?

"Ice Cream With The Enemy"

Face it. I'm catching all your drifts. They're blowing eastward, through ym door and out my window.
Originate in mouth. In innuendos. Every word is meant to hurt. Meant to feel like war. I've had enough. All's fair only
when the weather is. The air is right for shooting down my best intentions,
but all the good it's done. We'll never mention. Just like the worst. Just like the worst.
Hot tounges & poor little lungs are burnt to a crisp from fire that we spit. No wins with sharp bloody pins that we've
hired and fired at will. They're sticking in my skin. I've had enough. Allies are worthless in this shit-faced fucking that
I fear has grown to pity me for the damage done and you for the healing. When neither side has meant to hurt. now when I get
lost. I follow the blood trail home to my disgust and think of all the wrong things I could be doing...and all the good
times I could ruin. "Hey, I wouldn't worry about it man. Do what you can try not to hide." "Hey, I wouldn't worry about it
man. Do what you can to feel alive."

"The Affiliates"

If it wasn't for the windows, my eyes would go to shit. If it wasn't for the time I killed today,
working for network affiliates...If it wasn't for the winners, I wouldnt want to quit. If it wasn't for
the time I killed today, being completely meaningless. From 9-5 I'm far away. I'd bet it all.
I'd bet my life you feel the same. From 9-5 we're far away. Why am I here today. The clock is ticking.
It's laughing at me as I pine away. No one really dreams of this. No way. There's no way. We know we hate it. We wish we
could kill it, but not today. We don't have the energy, being completely meaninless.

"Zero Tolerance Drum Policy"

Blindfolded and back to the door. I'm sitting silent with these open arms ready to strange me. Cut the air out entirely.
Everytime I see your face, the space between always tends to suffocate you and me. Maybe we can start with the
weather...just maybe. Then say what we have to say, whenever...or maybe not. Thought you should know it's not OK with me.
The way you walked away. Colder shoulders chill to the bone. The way you left me feeling disowned. I want you to know I
wouldn't have given up. Hark. Hark. A knock at the door. Who goes there? Someone from before I was unstable. Let me bring
that to the table.


Bombs away! The plan is all in attack. Fuck the history books, they're harder to read than the facts.
There's nothing that we can do cause they're shoveling us shit colored red, white, and blue. Bombs away! For a more
american you. That's the way the cookie crumbles. The tooth for tooth makes it hard to chew. Media. Media show us the enemy.
From the washington press release to our home color TVs. There's nothing that we can say. Thank you for the fear manifested
into hate. Bombs away! For a more american fate.

"Wishing There Were Walkways"

Dedication. Testing 1-2-3. I'm glad you proved it to yourself. You don't have to prove it to me.
Determination stopped being friends with me. I'm glad you stuff it your heart. Leaving you with
no room to breathe. You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine. When the clock strikes, count to the three and put the pedal
to the floor all time. Got the rhyme without the reason. Got the plight, but not the cause. Got the ends, they're meeting
and there at each others throats. Humiliation. Testing 1-2-3. With tones never solid. Leaving no room to brave. Completely
nervous. The rattle of my bones keeps the rhythm on the quick side, with no fear to be slow. Humiliation. Testing 1-2-3. You
better listen to me. Cause there's no room to be free.


There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

P.S. Here's some blogs & videos
that I found of interest as
I negotiated my way through

Video With Above Poem
Every Student
My Thoughts
My Blog Video
Religion Comparison
Avoid This Place
Danish Cartoons
Arabic Cartoons
Muhammad or Jesus???
Answering Islam
Is Jesus God?
A Short Look At Six World Religions
God's Word in different languages...
How to become a Christian
Who Is Jesus?
See The Word
Watch The Jesus Movie
Spanish Cartoons
German Cartoons
Chinese Cartoons
Italian Cartoons
Greek Cartoons
Japanese Cartoons
Portuguese Cartoons
Many Languages
Around the Well
French Cartoons
Hindi Cartoons
Russian Cartoons
Little Girl
Get Saved?
You & Sin City
Mysterious Disappearance
Evolution Video
The Departure
You Need To See This
'Thought & Humor'

Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?

Click Here

Tell me sometime what your
thoughts are about all this:O)

February 29, 2008 at 4:20 AM  

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